Tuesday Afternoon QB: Bill Fucking Belichick

Earlier this year, I called out Houston Texans head coach Gary Kubiak when he benched Arian Foster for the first half of a game, depriving me of points I could have had and making my life a living hell. Now I have to call out Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, once again for depriving me of points I could have had...well, in a way, at least the way I see it...and making my life a living hell once again.

photo courtesy of Keith Allison on Flickr

Yeah, Bill Fucking Belichick.

Because I never know whom he's going to use from week to week on offense, I benched three of his players, wide receiver Deion Branch, running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis (aka "The Law Firm") and tight end Aaron Hernandez in favor of Rams wide receiver Danario Alexander, Chiefs running back Thomas Jones and Jets tight end Dustin Keller. Collectively, Belichick's three players outscored my team by three times as many points, 42-14. If I had played Belichick's trio, I would have won 122-115 over Bald Spots. As it was, I lost 115-101.

As usual, though, I would like to thank Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers (35 points) and Houston running back Arian Foster (22) for showing up to make the score look a little more respectable than it could have been. Thank you, gentlemen, I appreciate your support. Keep up the good work.

Surprisingly, even with the loss, no thanks to Bill Fucking Belichick, I did clinch a playoff spot this week and while next week's game against HBFFL founder Chris Cameron doesn't mean anything, that still doesn't mean I still don't want to kick his ass. After all, dude did write about a big play a couple of weeks ago that my team made when I should have been the one to write about it. As I said then, I will exact my revenge...

Cameron, I'm coming to get you!